What You Don’t Know
03/13/2017. Birthdays, then and again. Even though you never really liked them anyway.
Sometimes when I’m smoking outside I watch the stars
And I think of you
And I wonder if you’re thinking of me too
They twinkle against the black night as they go out
One by one; the sky turns orange
And I realize it’s tomorrow and I’m drunk
And I’m still thinking of you
You walk to your closet and look at
yourself in the mirror
And wonder what other people see in you
Because you think you’re ordinary and nothing to marvel at
And you share that same frustration when someone snaps a photo of you;
Bathed in the neon red lights, you exist half in shadow behind the bar
Silently mulling what everyone is so obsessed over
They tell you ‘your body’, ‘your looks’, ‘your ass’ and ‘your face’,
The words hit your skin and with an awkward grace
You muster a smile and amble along
Shaking your head at how superficial it sounds
But you don’t see the way your eyes light up when you tell me a story
Or the ultra-bright glare of your smile that makes me want to
Wither like a neglected grape vine
And you most certainly don’t know that I have long seen the strange madness
Manic and kind, that rattles around in your head and your heart
You don’t see the colors you emit, fuzzy and orange
Like a halo around the holiest of fools
A burst of light that is so ecstatic, so addictive
The kind that makes people like me want to be better people
Even if it’s just to be around you
You don’t see these things, and that’s okay
Because I hope that one day when you look in your mirror
And see your face
You will see everything I see
That your beauty is not measured by your flesh and bones
But by how your heart shines, and how it’s anything but ordinary;
Maybe one day when you look up at those same stars
As they glitter across that same black night
You’ll think of me when I tell you that you alone are worthy
Of all they have to offer you
You are worthy of being marveled at
Simply for being you
(you’ll never read this. happy early birthday anyway.)
I think the text is very well done and it touches on something that one is often not even aware of. This kind of superficiality only exists for me the very first time I meet a person and have never seen them before, then these purely physical features play a role, which we often long for or even shape our lives around through diet programs and physical activity. But when I think of all the people I know, I can’t really say anything about their attractiveness, they are all beautiful to me in their own very personal way. Very touching written. There’s also a strong tension in how we often perceive ourselves in a distorted way, and I think the text brings that out really well <3